January 20, 2021

[Voices] Welcome to New Age Dating

Gone are the days where whistling to call out your girlfriend, sending out love letters and actually talking was the way of approaching a girl, because a simple wink emoji does all of that for you.

In this new age of dating, things such as liking the wrong person’s picture will lend you in far more trouble than a simple phone call not answered. You get asked questions like “why are you online but ignoring my texts?” and “why did you follow that girl?”.

You know someone is upset at you when you get ‘blue-ticked’ or when your pictures are removed from their profile. Instead of communicating our problems we act out, which is ironic considering how easy it is to communicate in this technological digital era we live in. Talking is limited to the keypad because why would you call if you could text? We chat instead of talking and you no longer need a degree to become a private investigator; the internet does it all for you. The pressure is on and “Bae Olympics” have commenced and trying to keep up will have you spending money to buy “love”. Sex, money and fame have become needs and we’d rather share our problems on the timeline than with each other.

When you get into a new “situation” you should prepare to be googled.  Better make sure your Instagram profile is private and clean up your Facebook page because someone will be digging up your past – seconds after you give them your full name. The research step is an intense process of stalking because these days the way to “get to know” someone is through a search engine. The world is getting smaller and it is easier to manage long distance relationships. On contrary, managing these relationships with multiple people makes cheating almost effortless.

New age dating predominately occurs online, where an inbox can lead to a marriage proposal. Dating Apps have revolutionized the dating game. Like in any game, you compete with other players to win a prize, there are levels and you need to be strategic and smart to win. All it takes is a good filtered picture and an interesting bio and your well on your way. A single swipe to the right will find you your match. You move from the Chatroom to WhatsApp, and from WhatsApp to meeting your Catfish. Online dating has become very dangerous, you never know if someone wants to date or kidnap you; being single has never been safer.

Wait for what? Waiting is over with. Gone are the days where men have to wait three days to call a woman after a date or waiting 6 months to move in together. Everything is spontaneous and instant. It either happens now or not at all. Longevity of relationships has been reduced to a minimum; people change partners faster than they change underwear. There are no limits. And what ever happened to “girl code”? Friends are dating each other’s exes like its nothing. Gender roles in relationships have evolved and dating rules are broken. Women ask men to marry them and sexual orientation is open. Introducing your partner to your parents is no longer seen as taboo in most cases, and vat ‘n sit has become a norm.

Everyone wants to look happy on social media. People put on a show, and portray themselves and the state of their relationships as something completely different from reality. Women buy themselves roses and go on trips that never happened. The extreme lengths people go to is astonishing. Dating is free yet also expensive; you don’t pay with money but with your time and energy. So, can we skip right to the chase when we meet new people – so we don’t waste each other’s’ time? Small talk is overrated. What do you want?

Article by Rebone Maputla.

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